November 2011
16 posts
8 tags
Metro North Web Ticket Fail
You fucking kidding me? So under the section “buy online and save…” it says that I will no longer be able to save come 2012. Oh, and this is after a fare increase! Pure hysterical comedy.
I hate my fucking job
So any little thing is going to set me off today. You could be reading about a guy who loses it, throws his bag AT the train as it pulls in, and pisses in the vestibule
2 tags
Every single person
Can go and fuck themselves, hard. Stop walking slow right In front of me. Or you’re going to get shoulder checked into the tracks.
Annoying ladies on their way to the city for the...
Do me one fucking favor and shut the fuck up,ok? You are being overly loud and need to settle down. You’re acting like a bunch of little girls before a middle school dance.
Heard of earphones?
Dude, you have got to be fucking kidding. You are poaching up and down the platform blasting shitty music on your cell phone. Not only did that song come out in 2009, but you look like a huge ass just pacing around with your hood pulled up. In the words of biggie, ’ you soft fool’
7 tags
Jet Blue Blows It
Flying is a necessary evil. No one REALLY likes to fly. Unless you are a child and it’s your first time. Or you have dreamed your whole life that you should die in a plane crash. Other than that, no one wants to step foot on a metal canister to fly through the sky like humans were never intended to do. And then this shit happens.
Travelers on at least four planes were stranded on the...
6 tags
Goddamn! Yet Another Obvious Scientific Study...
Look at me! I look like an asshole!!
Fucking Swedes. Is there nothing to do over there besides analyze people? Makes some fucking meatballs will ya? They’ve launched another study that links commuting with stress. Next, they’re studying the correlation of porno and jerking off…can’t wait for the results!
Your work commute is: (A) a bike ride or brisk walk; (B) a...
4 tags
I Guess This Is How You Are Suppose To Properly...
The complete opposite of Commuter Contempt is right here. Brace yourself! It’s smart, thoughtful, and incredibly effective.
5 tags
The Entire Time?
These broads have been yucking it up the entire train ride to the city. And the worst part is, it appears they take this train everyday. Meaning, I now have to watch out and make sure I don’t sit near them ever again. Yeesh, the burden I carry…
8 tags
"Well, Find It"
- Train Conductor aboard the Metronorth line in NY in regards to a rider not being able to find their ticket.
I know conductors have probably heard every single line in the book. “Oh man, I JUST had my ticket,” “Someone must’ve stolen it.” or “You don’t know me! Fuck you!”
So I normally feel for them. But yesterday I witnessed first hand a...
2 tags
"GO FUCK YOURSELF"
- Some ANONYMOUS douchebag troll on Commuter Contempt site who can’t figure out how the comments section works so submits a question stating most unoriginal content ever.
7 tags
Oh, It's Glove Season!
It’s starting to get cold out there folks. Snow has fallen, nipples are getting harder every day, and I’m putting on my gloves like a motherfucking hitman, EVERY single time.
There’s something so empowering about making a fist while wearing leather gloves. Nobody can fuck with you. It’s you against the world. And you’re winning every time. And not to mention the...
7 tags
What Would Make A Man Paint His Car Like Fruit?
I don’t like ANY food enough to paint my car to look like it. It’s not even like it’s a good paint job either. frankly the best thing about it are the seeds, and those don’t even look that good. And holy shit did this guy just mail it in when he started painting the rind.What a shit rind job.
5 tags
This Fucking Guy Is O-U-T
Either that or he’s giving his imaginary friend a beej. Homeboy is just comatose!
I’ve never been able to understand how people just get that asleep on a train. Every time my body sense REM, I wake the fuck up. All paranoid and shit. I wake up worrying if I’m drooling or snoring. If only I could learn to be like this dude.
6 tags
Commuters, It's Shit Like This
You are not at your house. Therefore, do not take your shoes off and lounge aorund as if you were laying down at home. Leave your shoes on while on mass transportation. It’s simple, right?
7 tags
No, I'im Serious This Time. I'm Never Sitting...
I sat there because I thought, “who the fuck would shit in a public bathroom, let alone a bathroom onboard a disgusting train to begin with? So what’s the difference if I’m sitting outside the bathroom” Well, apparently the answer is, multiple people would shit in there.
For instance, this morning two disgusting human beings shit in the train bathroom. Want to know how I...
October 2011
70 posts
7 tags
It's A Spooky Halloween Taking You Home For The...
4 tags
It's Going To Be A Good Good Day
I somehow managed to get the solo seat on the train this morning. Which can only mean one thing, my day might now just giant balls. I pray to God today goes smooth and people don’t piss me off too much. So far so good. But you never know with these unpredictable humans.
5 tags
Can This Person Leave Their Car Unlocked And Open?
The answer is yes. A giant fucking YES.
G’head, take anything you like…
5 tags
If Only I Got Stuck "Behind" Someone Like This On...
7 tags
I Wonder What He Forgot
Thank fucking God people have cameras just rolling in their cars 24/7 nowadays. 15 years ago, this would have been nothing but a funny story. Today, it’s the greatest thing I’ve seen all week.
4 tags
Oh You Silly Little Frost On My Windshield
You’ve just successfully made my commute longer by 2 minutes. Instead of jumping in the car and just going, now I have to take the time to remove you from my windshield. And of course every scraper I have is a piece of garbage. Let me just make this clear. You and I, are not friends. It is not going to be a pleasant winter if you’re going to be around.
6 tags
DO NOT Tailgate This Person
6 tags
Goddamn Rain
Sure, I know you make shit grow and stuff, but you absolutely fuck up my commute.
People drive like pussies, my windshield wipers suck, and the fucking train I take leaks water. Even though I’m 75% of what you are, you still piss me off.
Can't Wait For Daylight Savings To Change My...
Is there anything more departing than darkness? Answer: no.
So now when I leave for work it’ll be dark. When I come home, it’ll be dark. My soul, it’ll be dark too. Depression is on its way.
5 tags
I'm Gonna Guess He Doesn't Get The Insurance Check
Because it’s funny, that’s why.
5 tags
Take Your Ticket And Shove It
Real or fake. Who really cares anymore. Amirite?
“Lemme just grab my chainsaw…because I have a chainsaw…because it’s my job”
“Lemme just stop this cab in the perfect spot to tape…because I had my camera out…because I’m a blogger”
5 tags
Reason #2,586 To Wear Your Seatbelt
I have watched this 20+ times. It wasn’t until at least the 7th time that I realized there were three dummies in that fucking car. The first guy goes SHOOTING straight up. I’m trying to figure out wear that mofo was sitting. So I never sit in that seat again. The second two dummies looked like they sustained minimal damages and survived. The first one, not so much.
5 tags
You Got No Probs Asking For The Middle Seat
It’s as if you WANT to sit in the middle. Seriously, it’s 12 minutes before the train leaves and you don’t even bother to look for your own seat. you walk right onto the train and demand to sit in the middle. It’s fucking disturbing, really. You, as a human being, should want to sit as far away as possible from other human beings. Oh, and I hate you.
6 tags
Not Only Are They The Drainer Of Your Savings,...
You know they’re gross. But you never really thought about it. You never thought about just how disgusting they are. Well, here’s your answer, they are the nastiest thing you touch, on your way to work.
Gas pump handles turned out to be the filthiest surface that Americans encounter on the way to work, according to a study released on Tuesday by Kimberly-Clark Professional, a...
4 tags
Can't They Make Car Windows That Have RainEx...
Because this is really fucking annoying. And when I roll down my windows with condensation, you know only a little but gets wiped off. Or how about defrost systems for the side windows? The rear defrost works so much better than the front one, meaning I wouldn’t care if I had those black lines all around my car windows. Fuck it, you can’t mess with success.
5 tags
Why Is There Even An Outlet Here
Because it doesn’t even work. I look like a giant ass plugging my laptop in that needs charging, only to have it not even turn on. Sweet. Guess that’s going to happen on a train that is at least 40 years old. The old, set em up to fail, prank. Wells done you MTA cunts.
Can you please stop adjusting yourself?
You are making me really uncomfortable dude. Obviously it’s your dick and balls you keep grabbing at, so please stop. Sit still you overgrown child with ADD and a masturbating problem.
You chew your gum like a dick
Smacking away on the train. You look like such a fucking asshole. What are you, gonna chew that shit until it disappears? Calm the fuck down here with your gum, cowboy. Enjoy the flavor a lil.
You Might Want To Tie That Down
Hey asshole, you have wood flying from the back of your pickup truck. No joke. Boards just flying out the back. Good thing I got off the exit, because otherwise it would have smashed into my car. Check yo self.
7 tags
I Just Read There Will Be Severe Fare Hikes Coming...
Metro North New Haven Line will see an increase in fares coming as soon as the beginning of next year.
A 5.25% fare increase effective January 2012.
A 19.25% fare increase over the next seven years.
Basically, my ticket is increasing by almost $20 next year. And almost $70 over the next seven years. There isn’t anything more in line for me to say than go fuck yourself MTA. Suck a giant,...
2 tags
Yeah, That's Your Problem Right There...
2 tags
Fuck This Guy
This dude works from home. Big fucking deal bro. I hate you.
6 tags
Drunk Dude Obviously Shitted Himself. Or Sat In...
Sorry it took so long to publish this video. It’s been a bitch cleaning the chunks out of my keyboard.
Thank fucking God this video is blurry as shit (pun intended as fuck), because this is just ri-goddamn-diculously nasty. Dude’s just walking around with a healthy portion of feces just splatted on the back of his stone-washed jeans.
I kept wondering, just how does this end? He...
8 tags
I Hate This When Filling UP
You know when you fill up your tank and go to lock the pump handle in place and there’s nothing to enable you to accomplish this? I fucking hate that.
Listen, I want to spend money at your fucking gas station. But guess what? I’m not going to buy one more fucking thing besides this gas if you’re going to pull this shit. Fuck you. What’s the point of this anyhow?...
5 tags
Fight In Parking Garage
And……….DROP!
Dude, fighting is retarded. So stupid. Case in point, even though you act like a tough guy, and maybe you are, you can still get knocked the fuck out. Humbled in seconds. And the next morning you wake up with a sore jaw, if it’s not broken, and a shattered ego. Just go drink more and be peaceful you fuckheads.
Oh, and a bitch ass sucker punch too. Case...
6 tags
Wallstreet Journel Did Something With MTA Usage In...
Link is here.
6 tags
Meanwhile In Russia: Part 12,458
Fucking Russians. Goddamn! I fucking love you people. Just giving zero fucks on the reg. Keep on keepin’ on with the no fucks giving, okay?
This truck could literally not be anymore smashed, and still run. HOW?
6 tags
Stupid Note Left On Car
Seriously, you have all the time in the world to come up with something original and witty. Really? What, was Hellen Keller not “snappy” enough for ya? This is about as original as, “Where’d ya get your license…in a box of cracker jacks?! OHHHH!” So incredibly lame. Although, I do applaud your intentions.
Btw, you know what Stevie Wonder’s favorite...
5 tags
And This Happened On The Bus
No clue what the precipice was for this lovely gem aboard the SEPTA in Philly, but when homeboy driver told him to go some some dick, my heart skipped a beat. What beautiful retort, because clearly this guy WAS on his way to suck some cock. Anyone who continues to tell EVERYONE ELSE that he’s “about to slap” someone is gay. Even if they like the vagine.
7 tags
Are They Really Hitting Their Target Market Here
What. The Fuck. Anyone else thinking they’re talking about trannys’ cock-to-vagina surgeries? Well, apparently I didn’t go to college for 9 years, because this is what it is.
WEDNESDAY, May 11 (HealthDay News) — In women, a vaginal mesh support is more effective for repairing a common type of pelvic organ prolapse — which occurs when pelvic organs fall out of...
6 tags
That Might Have Been The Dumbest Comment Ever
You just used the bathroom on the train. Not only is that dumb, but when you left the lavatory someone was waiting to used the damn thing. You, being your normal helpful self said, “It’s disgusting in there!” This makes me think…
You like to make painfully obvious comments
You just blew that bitch up and are embarassed
Now, I happen to know the answer is #1. For no other...
5 tags
Survival Of The Fittest: Or Craziest
I just kept waiting for an I-beam or something to just take his ass out. Seriously, just waiting. Unfortunately, I was greatly disappointed.
4 tags
What Are Your Thoughts On This: Wrong or Right?
Straight from the daily what:
This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day: A Muslim woman has filed a discrimination lawsuit against Southwest Airlines for allegedly removing her from a San Jose-bound flight after she told a Verizon representative on the phone “I’ve got to go.”
Huh? Read on:
Irum Abbassi, who was “readily identifiable as Muslim by what she wore,” wrote in her complaint that a...
5 tags
Your License Plate Is Accurate: Really Dumb Though
Dumb car, dumb plate.
The government should put everyone’s name on a list somewhere that actually pays money for a vanity plate. When the time comes, you know, when the asteroid is on its way or zombies raise up, they should be the first people cut from boarding the spaceship built to save humankind.