November 2011
16 posts
8 tags
Metro North Web Ticket Fail
You fucking kidding me? So under the section “buy online and save…” it says that I will no longer be able to save come 2012. Oh, and this is after a fare increase! Pure hysterical comedy.
I hate my fucking job
So any little thing is going to set me off today. You could be reading about a guy who loses it, throws his bag AT the train as it pulls in, and pisses in the vestibule
2 tags
Every single person
Can go and fuck themselves, hard. Stop walking slow right In front of me. Or you’re going to get shoulder checked into the tracks.
Annoying ladies on their way to the city for the...
Do me one fucking favor and shut the fuck up,ok? You are being overly loud and need to settle down. You’re acting like a bunch of little girls before a middle school dance.
Heard of earphones?
Dude, you have got to be fucking kidding. You are poaching up and down the platform blasting shitty music on your cell phone. Not only did that song come out in 2009, but you look like a huge ass just pacing around with your hood pulled up. In the words of biggie, ’ you soft fool’
7 tags
Jet Blue Blows It
Flying is a necessary evil. No one REALLY likes to fly. Unless you are a child and it’s your first time. Or you have dreamed your whole life that you should die in a plane crash. Other than that, no one wants to step foot on a metal canister to fly through the sky like humans were never intended to do. And then this shit happens.
Travelers on at least four planes were stranded on the...
6 tags
Goddamn! Yet Another Obvious Scientific Study...
Look at me! I look like an asshole!!
Fucking Swedes. Is there nothing to do over there besides analyze people? Makes some fucking meatballs will ya? They’ve launched another study that links commuting with stress. Next, they’re studying the correlation of porno and jerking off…can’t wait for the results!
Your work commute is: (A) a bike ride or brisk walk; (B) a...
4 tags
I Guess This Is How You Are Suppose To Properly...
The complete opposite of Commuter Contempt is right here. Brace yourself! It’s smart, thoughtful, and incredibly effective.
5 tags
The Entire Time?
These broads have been yucking it up the entire train ride to the city. And the worst part is, it appears they take this train everyday. Meaning, I now have to watch out and make sure I don’t sit near them ever again. Yeesh, the burden I carry…
2 tags
"GO FUCK YOURSELF"
- Some ANONYMOUS douchebag troll on Commuter Contempt site who can’t figure out how the comments section works so submits a question stating most unoriginal content ever.
8 tags
"Well, Find It"
- Train Conductor aboard the Metronorth line in NY in regards to a rider not being able to find their ticket.
I know conductors have probably heard every single line in the book. “Oh man, I JUST had my ticket,” “Someone must’ve stolen it.” or “You don’t know me! Fuck you!”
So I normally feel for them. But yesterday I witnessed first hand a...
7 tags
Oh, It's Glove Season!
It’s starting to get cold out there folks. Snow has fallen, nipples are getting harder every day, and I’m putting on my gloves like a motherfucking hitman, EVERY single time.
There’s something so empowering about making a fist while wearing leather gloves. Nobody can fuck with you. It’s you against the world. And you’re winning every time. And not to mention the...
7 tags
What Would Make A Man Paint His Car Like Fruit?
I don’t like ANY food enough to paint my car to look like it. It’s not even like it’s a good paint job either. frankly the best thing about it are the seeds, and those don’t even look that good. And holy shit did this guy just mail it in when he started painting the rind.What a shit rind job.
5 tags
This Fucking Guy Is O-U-T
Either that or he’s giving his imaginary friend a beej. Homeboy is just comatose!
I’ve never been able to understand how people just get that asleep on a train. Every time my body sense REM, I wake the fuck up. All paranoid and shit. I wake up worrying if I’m drooling or snoring. If only I could learn to be like this dude.
6 tags
Commuters, It's Shit Like This
You are not at your house. Therefore, do not take your shoes off and lounge aorund as if you were laying down at home. Leave your shoes on while on mass transportation. It’s simple, right?
7 tags
No, I'im Serious This Time. I'm Never Sitting...
I sat there because I thought, “who the fuck would shit in a public bathroom, let alone a bathroom onboard a disgusting train to begin with? So what’s the difference if I’m sitting outside the bathroom” Well, apparently the answer is, multiple people would shit in there.
For instance, this morning two disgusting human beings shit in the train bathroom. Want to know how I...