Commuter Contempt

Look at me! I look like an asshole!!

Fucking Swedes. Is there nothing to do over there besides analyze people? Makes some fucking meatballs will ya? They’ve launched another study that links commuting with stress. Next, they’re studying the correlation of porno and jerking off…can’t wait for the results!

Your work commute is: (A) a bike ride or brisk walk; (B) a traffic jam; or (C) a crammed bus or train.

If you chose B or C, this could mean trouble for your health. A new survey of over 20,000 Swedes, aged 18-65, linked public transportation and car commutes to greater stress and exhaustion, and poorer health and sleep quality, compared to active commuters who biked or walked. No wonder the “healthiest women in America” have walkable commutes, according to a USA Today report.

Listen. The reason people suck it up and take the train, subway or drive is because it’s the fastest fucking way to get to the office. Going to work blows bad enough, the last thing you want to pile on top of that is a longer commute. There’s no way I’m adding anything “brisk” to my commute, bitches. I want in and out. And if that means watching a homeless woman wipe her ass with the New York Post, then I”m OK with that. So take your studies and wipe YOUR ass wipe them. I did.