Commuter Contempt

This guy is an asshole himself, complaining about other assholes. Basically, he’s like a brother I’ve never met.

Dear Mr. Parker: 

I recently flew US Airways from Portland, to Minneapolis and sat in row 33 seat a. As an airline executive, I’m quite sure you never had to sit in row 33 on this airplane. Let me explain why row 33 shouldn’t cost $550 for the round trip:

Row 33 is the very last row. It’s differs from the other rows in that it is directly in front of the bathrooms. I noted my experience on a US Airways napkin so I could convey it accurately in this letter.

8:45pm – Overweight man in khaki shorts enters bathroom.

8:48pm- Overweight man in Khaki shorts exits bathroom, bathroom and row 33 smells like feces for appx. 7 min.

8:55pm smell of feces leaves row 33.

appx. 9:20pm- Drift off to sleep.

9:37pm- Wake up to the smell of human feces, open eyes, see large woman walking away wearing flower pattern blouse.

9:38pm- Exchange sympathetic/disgusted glances with other passengers in row 33.

10:04pm- Tall man with green golf shirt enters bathroom. 

10:07pm- Tall man with green golf shirt exits bathroom.

10:07pm- Bathroom and row 33 smell like bacon, stale bread and human feces.

10:08pm-Have conversation with gentleman in row 33 seat b that I need to write the airlines a letter about discounting row 33.

I have always respected and admired Rosa Parks. And I could not stop thinking about her on this flight. As of today, I too, like Rosa Parks, refuse to sit in the back of (in this case) the airplane. 

My argument as to why these seats should be discounted:

1) plane was booked, I could not switch seats.

2) I was not told the seats were nearest to the bathrooms, and that I would be tortured for 4 hours.

3) The seat cost $550. This is entirely too expensive for a domestic flight that forces you to smell human excrement.

The scent of another human’s feces is where you have to draw the line. Sure, i’ll sit and eat my own cooking for days, but when it’s someone else’s, that’s almost illegal. They can make the toilets suck the wrinkles out of Hugh Hefner’s face, but can’t figure out how to make it so the poop smell doesn’t invade the cabin. I’m sure that has to do with rising gas prices?