Commuter Contempt

Metro North New Haven Line will see an increase in fares coming as soon as the beginning of next year.

• A 5.25% fare increase effective January 2012.
• A 19.25% fare increase over the next seven years.

Basically, my ticket is increasing by almost $20 next year. And almost $70 over the next seven years. There isn’t anything more in line for me to say than go fuck yourself MTA. Suck a giant, syphalitic dick.

Link is here.

Normally I’m all like, “cops are dicks.” Well watching this fucking video you start to see why. They have to put up with TONS of complete bullshit. Take this video for instance.

From the videographer (courtesy of Animal):

Happened around 9:40pm on Friday, October 7th in Harlem below the 125th street and Lenox Street 2/3 station. These girls allegedly jumped the subway turnstile to avoid a fare. When the cops entered the train and tried to talk them out. It didn’t work. They began to force them out and this is what happend next. Not sure if you can fully see but there was a gigantic mob of people who had the cops/girls surrounded. Some seemed to be protesting the cops and others where if favor of the police action. From my vantage point it seemed like the girls were completely in the wrong, but I can’t be sure. It seemed like forever for back up to arrive but as you can see it wasn’t really that long. This happened FAST. Not sure what happened after.

So, long story short, the reason for this skirmish is because these bitches jumped the turnstile. Meaning, they broke the law. Also known as, they’re in the total wrong. So what do they do? They fight the cops. Most people would run, or just accept the fact they got busted for some shit they did do wrong. Nope. Not these bitches. They go all “this shit aint fair” mode. Wrong. Eat your fucking desserts.

The overhead rack is like a constant overhead reminder, that for the next hour plus you’re an inmate of the mass transportation correctional facility. You can’t get out until the first stop. Which means, if you’re on an express, you’ve been sentenced to 25 to life. You’re a lifer. Take your conviction like a man. And for God’s sake, don’t drop the soap. Seriously. If you do, something might get clean. And they sure as shit don’t want that on the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.

I’m not even remotely joking. There is normally a sink right where this roll of toilet paper is. For those who don’t recognize this mess, I’m in the bathroom on the train. What is this some sort of cruel joke? Not even a pump of Purell located anywhere near here. Am I supposed to just grab a couple squares and be on my way? Yeah? Well the jokes on you fuckheads. I peed a little bit on my hands. So whatever I touch now will have little pieces of my urine on it. Suck it, no sink bathroom disgusting hellhole.

It’s tell me all about the many retards it’s had lean against it whilst on the bar car. Take me for example. I’m slightly buzzed, just wondering how many button-downs have had to lean against it to rub it’s beautiful black finish off. For starters, the train probably has been cleaned in 30 years, so I’m going to go with that as the standard amount of time.

Whatever you do, do NOT drop the cutout cock. Oh, and the pantograph is automatic, which means no more needless worrying about manual pantograhing anymore!

Seriously, what if there is a giant cutout cock behind that thing. Like I mean, a paper penis. And only the MTA would keep it behind lock and key, amirite? That’s what they use to fuck you in your ass on a monthly basis.

NY Times is telling us the MTA is now making cell phone service available on subway platforms.

The deployment is extremely limited: only four stations in the Chelsea neighborhood on the west side of Manhattan. The initial launch, which acts as a pilot program for a wider rollout of service across the New York subway system, will occur at the C and E platforms at 23rd Street and Eighth Avenue; the A, C, E and L platforms on 14th Street and Eight Avenue; the F, M, and L platforms at the Avenue of the Americas and 14th Street; and the 1, 2 and 3 platforms at the Seventh Avenue station, also on 14th Street. Verizon Wireless and Sprint Nextel customers won’t be able to get the service.

Sure, it’ll be nice to check your email, update your Facebook status or text your homies. BUT you WILL get an influx of people being annoying, even more annoying than usual, because you’ll get the “WHHHHAAAAA??? HUHHHHH??? NAH, I”M ON THE PLATFORM WAITING RIGHT NOW!! WHAAAAA? HUHHHHH?? I SAID PLATFORM!!!” People are assholes when in public. But when they’re on a cell phone, they become cunts.

NYC’s MTA sucked a giant, fat, expensive cock when Irene came to town. To the tune of over $110 MILLION dollars. And you thought they were looking to raise prices before?

Last month’s tempest cost the cash-strapped transit agency $110 million in operating and repair costs, officials said yesterday.

About half that money — $50 million — is needed to fix Metro-North’s Port Jervis line, which suffered such extensive damage that it won’t be fully repaired for trains until next fall.

The MTA spent another $10 million on shuttle buses to ferry passengers while the line was down.

The storm also cost the MTA an additional $50 million in operating costs.

Yowzers. That sucks. But you know what else sucks?

That figure includes lost subway and toll fares, as well as massive overtime costs incurred in shutting the system down in preparation for the storm.

Aint no one going out of the house in a storm motherfucker. And besides, you shut down the subways and most transportation lines. So shut your face and take your lumps like a man.

I personally wouldn’t sit, let alone lay, on the ground of the MTA train. I don’t even like walking in the house with my shoes on after riding the iron horse. But this guy. This guy has less than zero shame. Or any sense of how germs transfer surfaces. But whatever. I’m sure the book was a good read. Good enough where you  HAVE to lay down to enjoy it. Play on playa.

I’m all for the “If you see something, say something.” Because hey, why the fuck shouldn’t you. But I would like to propose a slight change, and I think it might be more accurate, and attention grabbing. Instead of saying it was “left by accident”, I say it be changed to, “left by some inconsiderate asshole.” Because only assholes leave their stuff on the train. Or stupid people. Stupid people do that too. Or people who are normal. Because everyday normal people do that too. You know what? Fuck it. Just leave the Goddamn ad as is. Forget I said anything.

What you see is what it looks like when the garbage can is removed from the bar car. God only knows how old that filth is, and he only knows what sort of bacteria is running rampant.

I don’t know about your trains, but my trains, are fucking filthy. I have to shower in Purel after riding them, and then still have to take a piping hot shower. And guess what? I pay over $320 a month to ride this shit! It outrageous. It’s also the only choice I have to get to NYC for work everyday. The MTA has my balls where they want them, and they’ll be raising prices soon. Cunts.

I’d rather a toilet with a CVS plastic bag and giant turd (which is only peeking out at the bottom there) than take a giant deuce in the MTA bathroom. Serious. It’s not even a question. I’d rather shit on something so unsanitary than use the Metro North bathroom. Fuck you bathroom. you be gross.

If you look long and hard, you’ll notice that there’s a plastic bag wrapped around the rim of the toilet lip. It’s money. You press a button and that shit spins automatically. Money. Straight cash bitches.

By now, “If You See Something, Say Something,” has been pounded into my brain relentlessly. Trust me, if I do see something, I’m fucking saying somehting. Like, I saw a whole shitload of these IYSS,SS ads today and I wondered, “does MTA have to pay for that shit?” And these answer is most likely, fuck no. I wonder now whether they’re slow on the ad revenue and are filling space. I also wonder how they think that they can increase my fare for shitty service and shittier trains.

Quite a shitshow at Penn Station last evening. Due to mothernature being a twat yet again, and all that angry lightning she tosses around, service on the LIRR was suspended and Penn physically closed some motherfuckin’ gates. Let the people at least sit on the train in some AC or something? No need to go and get all “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” on a mofo. BTW, these are the same cunts that are $8.9 billion short on their budget.