Commuter Contempt

Straight from the daily what:

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day: A Muslim woman has filed a discrimination lawsuit against Southwest Airlines for allegedly removing her from a San Jose-bound flight after she told a Verizon representative on the phone “I’ve got to go.”

Huh? Read on:

Irum Abbassi, who was “readily identifiable as Muslim by what she wore,” wrote in her complaint that a flight attendant thought she heard her say “it’s a go,” and called security to escort Abbassi off the plane.

Once deplaned, a TSA agent quickly determined that Abbassi did not pose a risk and allowed her to re-board. Except that she couldn’t: The captain reportedly barred her re-entry, claiming crew members were “uncomfortable” with her presence.

Abbassi is suing for punitive damages.

It’s not about being greedy. It’s about, that’s how many armrests there are on the plane. Everyone gets one, you dumb fuck who can’t arrange his flight so he doesn’t get stuck in the middle. You do get at LEAST one, and yes, you can lobby for two. But aren’t YOU the one being greedy now? Sorry you have to sit in the middle the entire flight, but Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up about it. You probably make it a point to ruin others’ flights because yours sucks giant donkey scholng. Fuck you, I say. Fuck you real good. Ah, ooh, push it.

Via Jalopnik:

Picking up strangers while traveling can be thrilling, but in the 21st century United States, there’s no worse pickup line than “Have you ever wondered if someone could get something on the plane they weren’t supposed to?” Meet that guy.

Last Friday, after a day of delays and five Jack-and-Cokes, one Bryan Sisco boarded the Delta flight from Dallas to Atlanta at 9:45. Sisco, 40, told the Memphis Commercial Appeal he just decided to sit down in a random seat. When Danielle Valimont, 23, happened to sit next to him, the recently divorced Sisco decided to flirt with her, offering her chocolate, and telling her he was an architect and a flight marshal. When the flight attendant and another passenger tried to claim the seat, Sisco said he and the woman were newlyweds. By the way, those Jack-and-Cokes? Doubles.

“We were talking, sharing M&Ms, eating chocolate, having a good time,” he said. “I fabricated some truths about myself. … I thought we were getting along pretty good.”

Valimont tells it a little differently, saying on her blog that Sisco was “jittery” when she sat down and within a couple of minutes, she texted “I’m sitting beside a crazy man.” Things only got more romantic from there:

“Have you ever wondered if someone could get something on the plane they weren’t supposed to?” he said. My heart dropped…”I’m sure its possible…” I replied. “It is…”

He opened his book bag and brought out a silver metal torch-like item and put it near my leg. He clicked a button and a 4-6 inch blue flame shot out … I acted as if it was no big deal, though my heart was racing.

“That’s cool- what else do you have?” I said. He opened his bag and pulled out an item that looked similar to the end of a headset and told me it was like a tazor and could cause temporary paralysis…

And when the woman picked up the cylinder Sisco was carrying that he had said was architectural drawings, “he said it was a canister filled with gas strong enough to make everyone on the plane pass out.” When she said she didn’t believe him and went to open the cylinder, “he freaked out and told me to stop.”

So Valimont, now believing she was sitting next to the muscular, armed Texas version of the Underwear Bomber, played it cool. She kept Sisco talking, then made an excuse to use the bathroom. While there, she typed a note to flight attendants on her phone: “If the guy in 20D is a Marshall disregard this msg. He has a torch that he lit and showed me. And he said his canister has a gas device that will make everyone on the plane pass out if there is danger. He also has a device that says is like a tazor. I will go sit back down. Do what you need to.”

The flight attendants did what they needed to — having the pilot divert the plane to Memphis for an emergency landing, get police on board dressed as paramedics and escort Sisco, who didn’t realize what was going on until he was on the ground — into custody.

Sisco spent four days in custody, including two strip searches. He’s banned from Delta for life, and has regained some of the common sense washed away in Dallas: “It was stupid of me. I’m a dumbass.”

Do chicks really think acting like a terrorist is hot? Answer: No. You fucking moron.

it’s nothing new anymore. Security at airports has been dramatically increased, there are now x-ray scanners, and if you don’t want some complete stranger to see you “virtually” naked, well, then you get your ass rubbed down.

Via The Post:

“If I had been physically attacked, this would have been a very, very similar experience,” said Nancy Campbell, 33, an urban planner who said she was traumatized by a touchy-feely female TSA agent before her flight to Washington Tuesday.

Campbell had already cleared security and was approaching the gate when the young agent stopped her, told her to drop her stuff and demanded she stand spread-eagled.

Brooklynite Nancy Campbell claims her search was like a physical attack.

As passers-by gawked, the TSA agent patted Campbell down, touching her breasts, inner thighs and crotch, the freaked-out flier told The Post.

When she protested, the agent said, “You can either continue on flailing about, or you can let me do my job. If you don’t, you can’t fly.”

You call it assault, I call it safety. I can go on continuing to fly knowing these people truly care about our well being.

So what? You got checked twice. Save it. Maybe it was in poor form, but the woman was just doing her job. You don’t like it, get a Greyhound ticket. If I’m flying and the security agent gropes me more than once, I’m taking it as a compliment. Sure, I might not enjoy it, but his reasons for doing so are all positive. Either I’m his cup of tea, he really likes safety, or he thought I might be concealing something large in my pants (which I am). But I would just get through it, grab my shit, and fly the fuck away.

…you need to walk down the aisle sideways.  That is all.  I have nothing else to say.