Commuter Contempt

I don’t like ANY food enough to paint my car to look like it. It’s not even like it’s a good paint job either. frankly the best thing about it are the seeds, and those don’t even look that good. And holy shit did this guy just mail it in when he started painting the rind.What a shit rind job.

The answer is yes. A giant fucking YES. 

G’head, take anything you like…

Thank fucking God people have cameras just rolling in their cars 24/7 nowadays. 15 years ago, this would have been nothing but a funny story. Today, it’s the greatest thing I’ve seen all week.

Seriously, you have all the time in the world to come up with something original and witty. Really? What, was Hellen Keller not “snappy” enough for ya? This is about as original as, “Where’d ya get your license…in a box of cracker jacks?! OHHHH!” So incredibly lame. Although, I do applaud your intentions.

Btw, you know what Stevie Wonder’s favorite color is? Corduroy.

Dumb car, dumb plate.

The government should put everyone’s name on a list somewhere that actually pays money for a vanity plate. When the time comes, you know, when the asteroid is on its way or zombies raise up, they should be the first people cut from boarding the spaceship built to save humankind.

At first I didn’t know what I was looking for. Even the second time I still didn’t really know what to look for. Only when they zoom that shit up so close I couldn’t help but notice, HOLY SHIT, there’s a man sliding from the car. And slide from the car in a beautiful manner he did.

It appears as though he is still on a cell phone when it happens. If that is the case, HOLY SHIT, get this man on the Olympic team…for whatever country this is from.

This person is thinking outside the box. most people would try to take the boot OFF the car. No no. This dude took the car OFF the boot.

Some mornings, I just beg for it. I just don’t want to go to work that bad. So bad, that I’d rather be tied up like a pig and shoved in my trunk. Well, after watching this piece of shit video, I now know I’ll never get out. Why? Because that motherfucker is standing straight up. He aint all scrunched up in a dark trunk getting plastic ties off his wrists. And can a motherfucker get a complementary slo-mo at the end of the video? I need to know, frame by frame, how this geek with the nasally voice did.

Unless you’re this rich asshole…

I don’t even want to go get an oil change because it will cost me money. I used to spend $25 to fill my 16 gallon tank. Now, it’s $60. Fuck you gas prices. Fuck you oil changes. Fuck you car insurance. Fuck you emmissions testing. Fuck you dirty air filter. Fuck you balding tires. Fuck your automobile god you cunt.

Rod? As in Rod Stewart? As in penis? As in a fan that stands on a rod? Whatever the rod, I feel for those poor fucking kids.

Btw - is this AJ from the Sopranos? Amirite? Only, if it were a Pathfinder.