Commuter Contempt

The answer is probably yes.

I can’t remember a name to save my life. But a face. I will never forget a face. Maybe it’s because I’m too busy staring at people, judging them, to forget.

But sometimes I will see people from the regular train I take to work, out in public, at the grocery store for instance, and be all like, “yeah, that’s the fucker who takes the train too.” And then I wonder, “Do they recognize me?” And then I’m like, “Don’t flatter yourself bro, of course they don’t”. But they probably do. Because I’m awesome.

I was following a female as I walked to the train station. this girl was wearing probably 4” heels. And she was coming from work. Or going to work, as a prostitute. But I was watching her walk. And not in an incredibly creepy way either. The kind of way where you think to yourself, “holy shit, it must be tough to walk in those fucking things.” As er heel would land, her ankle would sort of struggle to find it’s balance, and at any moment it seemed as though she would just topple over. And this was with every single step she took! Why not wear some smaller heels, or flats, or something that doesn’t make you look whore-ish at work. On the bright side, your calfs…they looked nice. Must be due to all that struggling while you walk.

There are very few things you should do in public. For instance: bowel movements, picking your nose, and wanking a quick one out. And let’s go ahead and throw clipping your nails into the ring as well.

It’s technically not the grossest thing ever, it’s just human cells, but the fact that the clippings just go flying wherever the fuck, that’s where things get dicey. And the sound is piercing. With every “CLINK”, you know you might get a fast crescent mooned shaped trimming to your retina. And imagine if it hit your lips? PFFFFFFT.

On the bright side, at least it was just his finger nails, right. C’mon let’s think positive people.

Honestly, these public transit workers MUST put up with a ton of shit from the many thankless fuckheads out there. Apparently, some punk wanted a piece of the driver, until the piece presented itself. Luckily for him there were doors in the rear. Fucking public transit…

So, this lady is claiming that dude whipped out his junk. Did he? Don’t know. But some OTHER DUDE is trying to snap pics of his dingle with an iPhone. If anyone should get yelled at, it’s that freaking weirdo. Okay - hanging dong on public trans Mahpinion.

But it doesn’t matter. This bitch gots nowhere to be for the rest of the day and is making it her mission to escort this fuck to Police. Take the iPhone camera guy too…he needs some bracelets.